The Difference Between Dating, Engagement, and Marriage

Aw... well.. I have decided to once again take a stab at this story-telling of mine in regards to my engagement. I think sometimes it is still a little new for me to process that I am engaged... which means in less than a year I will be married. OOOOooh.. fun times ahead I am sure.

But... let me backtrack a bit and tell you a little bit again of my thoughts on my engagement. It's been almost two months since me and my now fiance, Tim Liu have been engaged and it has been lovely I must say. (Let me add that I normally don't use that word fiance.... usually the word boyfriend works nicely too). When we had traveled to Europe to visit his family in August and explore Paris, I thought that it would be an awesome trip just because we'd get to visit family and see new sights. But the engagement part really took me by surprise. On our adventures in Europe I was really looking forward to whole trip. I knew that Paris would definitely be a sight to see, since I have never traveled to Europe prior to this trip.

One evening we went out to go eat some Fondue... which Paris is pretty well known for, so we went to catch the metro/train to the restaurant, but when we got there the restaurant was closed, so we decided to go for the next best thing.... a cafe restaurant down the street. Only thing though.. was that the entire menu was in French, and the only French we could read were the words fondue and pom frits (french fries). That dinner was super special, now that I think back... we had fondue deep fried style.. and I remember receiving a long stem red rose over dinner from the local guy selling it to the outdoor tables. After dinner, he was pretty eager to go check out this lovely site where we could view the Paris nightline.

It was a hike and a little adventure before we had found the place, but it was well worth it. On the journey upwards, we hiked tons of steps, met some Swedish people, where Tim got to practice his French with them, and we ended up at the steps of the the L'Sacre Coeur (Sacred Heart Church), under the stars. It was magical... I felt that something was up, or at least something was going on, or some type of planning was going into this whole excursion. It was while we were sitting on the steps looking at the gorgeous night view of Paris, that he busted out those words. And I in utter shock and joy, said yes.. I won't divulge too much further into how the words came about, but all I know was that it was a surprise and that it was surreal. But now I am in love all the more, and looking forward to being married.

I do think about that moment every now and then because everyday now I am reminded of the growing process that relationships do take. I decided to title this entry "The difference between dating, engagement, and marriage" because I think that in every step of a relationship, if working towards marriage, then it will have to mature in its commitment level towards one another.

I originally started this entry in October, but now I am continuing this blog in November because I was still sorting out fresh thoughts in my mind, and in that process my close friend and roommate also got engaged. While I got engaged in Paris, Laurie, my roommate got engaged in Italy. Many times people will have destination weddings, but this year is the year of destination engagements...hee hee.. I guess in my own circle of friends.

Back to the topic... of dating.

Dating is the idea or process of getting to know someone better with possible interest of developing a deeper relationship, be it deeper in love, deeper in commitment, or deeper in other ways. But dating with the intent of marriage is courtship. My momma once gave my friend some marriage advice about how it is when you are married. My wise momma said, "When you are dating, and looking for the right person, you better keep both your eyes wide open. But when you enter into marriage, you kinda only have one eye open most of the time." Interesting I must say. I think in any relationship, it takes a lot of work, a lot of love, and a lot of mutual effort and strength through God to really make it work.

Dating.... I have lots to say about dating. Sometimes I have friends ask me about dating advice, which I still find strange because I don't consider myself someone who knows a whole lot about it, but one thing I do know... and it is a genuine promise from God.. that says , "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (paraphrased Psalm 37:4). I think this verse can explain a lot about love, which is the basis for many relationships. Engagement for me now is another step towards marriage. But in my relationship, I think that we did go through that very process of dating, courtship, engagement, and in a matter of anohter 7 months or so, marriage. But dating for some people might have various durations and various intents.

Hmmm.. I think right about now I am getting sleepy and I need to finish some editing.. so I will end this entry for the day..and until next time.. much love on the love front for you all. Remember God is love.. and he loves us... and God SO SO SUPER desires the best for our lives... just love Him with all your heart.... peace out.